Oh my goodness it is not easy for a leopard to change their stripes!!! I have to admit that I am a spoiled individual and I am use to getting things my way. In the past I treated relationships as expendable. If it didn’t go my way I simply replaced the person. Now I am married and I took a vow to love, cherish, honor and obey this person for good or bad, in sickness and in health until death do us part. Right now I feel like will death do us part! 🙂 No, really I do not want that but I can say that I value my marriage very dearly and even more so I value my vow to God.
My sincerity to those vows are really being tested right now. You know as I write this I have to say is it really my sincerity to my vows or my sincerity to being saved and living my life according to God’s will. Hmmmm…..I have to say it’s a bit of both. I feel like two people. I have my fleshly desire for vengeance on one side and my obligation to God on the other. My feelings have been hurt and I want my spouse to understand the pain I feel but I know better. I know that the devil hates the bond of family. Especially a praying and God fearing family so he is trying to cause confusion because he knows our weakpoints.
This is not just for me this is for everyone that can relate and may find themselves in a similar position when the devil is trying to interfere in your walk with Christ. Remember you are born again and a child of God and He tells us:
Romans 12:19-21(KJV) says:
19Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
20Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
21Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.