Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Marianne Williamson in Return to Love Often mistakenly attributed to Nelson Mandela
‘Is your child’s behavior threatening to destroy your marriage?’ That was the question asked on the forum recently. Can a child’s behavior affect a marriage? Yes it certainly can.
Often this is the case in blended families, where a child will be negative or outwardly antagonistic or hostile towards the stepparent and try and do all they can to interfere in the marriage relationship. But this is certainly not the only case it can occur.
Children have the ability to work our very early on which one of the parents is easier to con or get around. As a result they can have a tendency to play one partner off against the other. I’ve seen it the marriages of friends. The way to combat this is to ensure you are both on the same wavelength regarding what is allowable and what is not, and regarding forms of discipline and punishment. If you are not united then children will find it very easy to cause friction between you and your spouse.
That’s why it is important to discuss attitudes towards children and child rearing before you get married. Even so, sometimes things change once kids come along. What had seemed logical and easy when the child did was theoretical suddenly is different when a flesh and blood person is involved. We changed some of our ideas after we became parents. Basically, it can be because of the child’s personality. They changed in some respects again after the second child because what worked with one personality wasn’t appropriate or didn’t work with the second one. In each case we changed our ideas together.
Even if parents don’t always agree, I think you should make a point of being united in front of the child. Later, in private, talk it out and state your problems with the decision and resolve the way to handle it in future. Always check with each other first, before making a decision so that one parent is not saying the opposite to the other. Don’t make decisions on the spur of the moment or without consultation with your spouse. We always told our children ‘Dad and I (or Mom and I as the case might be) will talk about it and let you know.’ That way we were always able to present a united front. This takes away any chance of playing parents off against each other. This is important in any marriage and family situation but never more so than in the blended family.
There are other ways children can negatively affect a marriage but more about that tomorrow.
Do you know who you are? I’m not speaking of who others say you are but who you see in the mirror, deep down inside, when no one else is around. Do you like who you see?
Each of us is made up of 3 elements, our mind, our will and our emotions. Our emotional patterns tend to make up our personalities. Our souls or personalities are created through our experiences and the things we choose to receive as truth. Do you criticize yourself and condemn yourself because of who you think you are due to the choices you’ve made? Are you happy and content with yourself?
Once we are born again we become a new creature in Christ and our soul/personality can be changed and renewed through the Holy Spirit. 2 Corinthians 5:17 (New Living Translation)17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! As a Christian we are to develop the characteristics of Christ and become like Him. We are to make new choices. Choices to let go of our old nature and receive the new because remember our personalities are formed through what we receive as truth. Our new nature should be formed by the truths from God’s Word.
When we study His Word we receive a healing of our soul, a cleansing. Through this cleansing you’ll have no choice but to LOVE who you are. Everything and everyone of God is nothing but beautiful. Study His Word and develop a fellowship with Him through prayer and you will become the best you that you can be.
I was speaking with a friend the other day and the topic came up of understanding men and women that you’re involved with. We talked about how you will never fully understand your man or woman and it just dawned on me; It’s not about understanding them it’s about just knowing them. The Dictionary states to understand as to have a systematic interpretation or rationale, as in a field or area of knowledge. To know is to be cognizant or aware of. I believe we could cut back on a lot of problems if we took the time to get to know our spouses. What makes he/she happy? What makes he/she angry? Concentrate on making the other person happy.
Do you truly love, respect and communicate with your spouse? If you do then you will know the things they like and don’t like. Does he/she like for you to greet them at the door with a hug and kiss to welcome them home? Does he/she like to have dinner provided when they get home, cooked, bought or whatever just so long as it’s ready? Some of you are like I don’t have time to do all of that I have other things I could be/need to be doing.
Well you have to respect and compromise with one another. If each spouse worries about making the other happy where can you go wrong? Step outside your own box and get into the other person’s. He likes sports and would like for you to watch with him sometimes but you don’t like sports…step outside your box and indulge him sometimes. She wants to take walks in the park with you but you have no desire…step out of your box and indulge her. Do it with a smile! Don’t leave room for another to make your spouse happy.
Just KNOW your partner, no need to try to understand the why’s….just do it!!! Make them smile…it goes a long way.
“Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:19
Breakthrough! It’s been years of the same thing. It’s been the same cycle; the same issues; the same people; the same hurts; the same disappointments; the same let downs; the same failures; the same mindset; the same…the same…the same. It’s time for a new thing! It’s time. It is time now to see that the seed, (the Word of God), that has been sown in your heart, has grown… It is time now to see that a change is coming…It is time now to see that God has been working on you; His Word does not return to Him void; You can boldly step up and step out into something new! It time for your breakthrough!
It appeared that there were areas of your life that weren’t changing. There were situations that seemed to stay same or appeared to get worst. Well now it is time to work the Word in your life. You’ve been hearing it and doing part of it; you’ve heard it but not totally surrendered to it; you’ve been listening, but not totally grabbing hold of it. But it is now time to see the Word work in those barren areas of your life; it is now time to experience God’s power in those situations in your life. It is now time!
This breakthrough requires you to take the Word of God totally and completely….you must be surrendered in every area, and you must let go of all fear! Whatever you need to do, just step up and do it! If it means stepping away from some familiar things and people, then do it! Some of the hindrances have been sin (continuing in relationships of fornication, or adultery; addictions; partial surrender; partial obedience; using your gift for the world, instead of using it for God; not seeking God as you should; not praying without ceasing, etc). Now it’s time to give it all, so you can get it all. It is now time!
Do you want it! Then you have to do some things that may seem unpopular; you have to be willing to give up some things and people; you may have to change the way you’ve always done some things! But it is now time for a change…It is now time for your breakthrough.
A Bondservant of Christ Rev Toni-Brooke Brown, Pastor God’s Storehouse, 18301 John R, Detroit MI 48203 313 867-1234 www.Gods-Storehouse.org
Often times I hear people say and I have said myself that we wish there was an instruction manual for life. Women say we wish someone would have told us about raising children and being a wife. Men look for examples of what a real man should be and not just what society says.
We talk about the deterioration of the world today. How crime, violence, abuse, drugs, etc. have run ramped and where did it all begin to go so wrong. Well looking back I think I have found the answer. It all began to go wrong when we abandoned and forget about the BIBLE!!!
God gave us every instruction we need in that miraculous book. That book is why our female ancestors had staying power in those rough relationships. That book is why they were able to raise 10, 15 children and maintain a household and husband without loosing their minds. That book is why our male ancestors stayed strong and provided for their homes. That book taught them the Word and Will of God. If and when everything was stripped from them they had their Faith. That was the one thing that could not be taken from them and as long as they held on God sustained them.
Today we look at their struggles and think how can we keep from going through what they went through. We think I wouldn’t deal with this or that the way they did. Well stop and look at their blessings for a minute. None of what they went through or what we go through compares to what Jesus suffered for us to have EVERLASTING LIFE but we’ve abandoned His Father’s Will. Who’s Will is for us to have life abundantly. So yes today our lives are harder and more stressful than they need to be. Get back to the basics; Pick up your Bible. Learn God’s Word and Will for your life. These are truly our Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
**I know a lot of people complain about not understanding the this, thy, thou and shalts in the Bible so I encourage you to pick up one of the versions listed. I have compared them and they say the same thing just in an easier to understand way.