I was sharing with my husband the other day about a wonderful experience that I had during my car ride home from class. I had been feeling pretty bad and sad for a while now thinking about some very terrible things that I had done in my past. And you know that you can began to sink in to a deep depression thinking about things that you aren’t very proud of, things that you wish that you could change. You rehearse it over and over in your mind telling yourself how you wish you could take this back, or that back. “Oh, if I wouldn’t have done it!” Truth is that we spend so much time focusing on the bad memories of ourselves. We may even be reminded of them daily by people that just so happen to know of that past and it will probably never be forgotten.
There are some of you who may not be able to relate to what it is that I am trying to say here. However, for those of you who can, will you accept my personal testimony? I was severely over taken by the memories of my mess that I couldn’t think of anything good to say concerning myself but thanks be to God. I am so glad that I knew enough to look to him and to call on him and he was faithful enough to meet me right where I was. He had ministered to me right there in my car through a song that was playing. It was a song by Mary Mary entitled “Dirt”. The chorus went something like “….need a little dirt to grow”
As I was listening to the words, it was like God was asking me if I knew what it took for a flower to grow. So I thought about it. A flower needs sunlight, water, fertilizer, and dirt to cause it to begin to grow. So God spoke to me in my spirit and said, “ see, my daughter, just like the flowers, you also need sunlight, which is my son, Jesus. You also need water, which are the tears you’ve cried from the many trials and storms that you have faced. You also need fertilizer, which is the food, being my word. And last but not least you need dirt. That dirt would be your mess, your mistakes, your hang ups, and your regrets. All of those bad memories’ of the things you’re not proud of, I knew about them before you even thought to do them and I knew that I could use them to cause you to grow. You needed to grow spiritually, mentally, and most importantly, you needed to grow closer to me.
So I share my personal testimony with those of you who have felt ashamed, not knowing if you’ll ever be able to lift your head up and be proud again. Stop beating your self up over the things that God can use to create and reshape your character. If God has forgiven you, then know that there is now NO CONDEMNATION to those who love the Lord and are called to his holy purpose.
So the next time someone or you yourself replays that past, just tell them that EVERY BODY NEEDS A LITTLE DIRT TO GROW.