Tag Archive | Friends

CONFRONT TO CONNECT

Wisdom HuntersFaithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.Proverbs 27:6 (NKJ)

Confrontation means there has been a disconnection. Something has severed trust. It may be relational, emotional, or financial. Maybe you feel you have lost someone’s love and respect. Whatever the reason for the disconnection, confrontation needs to seek a reconnection. This is what a caring, faithful friend does. They seek to reconnect where there has been a disconnect. Your salvation in Jesus brought you into relational wholeness with heaven so you could model the same on earth. Scripture teaches, “All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation” (2 Corinthians5:18).

However, if ignored, delayed confrontation deteriorates into disconnection. It dilutes understanding, trust, and intimacy. This is why wise leaders keep short accounts and speak freely and early about their concerns. If a leader ignores his or her obvious feelings of frustration, they will naturally distance themselves from the team and the organization. But if they confront early on, in a spirit of respect and understanding, they stay engaged with the enterprise and the individuals, and therefore avoid creating a culture of control and distrust.

This is true in marriage. A wife may confront her husband when she does not feel loved. This is a natural response when she feels distant from her spouse. Depending on the context of the confrontation, the husband may respond positively (if he is smart!) or he may push back defensively if he senses a combative or controlling spirit. It is normal and healthy to desire and seek out relational connection. This is how God has wired people. Just make sure you set yourself up for a successful connection and not an aborted one.

Your husband is much more receptive to receiving your emotional advances when done in a spirit of respect. Use questions like, “Sweetheart, can we sit down sometime today to discuss the children’s schedule for the upcoming week?” This gives him time to process and prepare. If he feels pounced upon or backed into a corner, he will react defensively. In this situation, healthy confrontation gives a couple the organizational connections they need to be more effective in managing their family responsibilities.

Caring confrontation creates a culture of teamwork and trust. A connected culture creates communication channels that build great organizations. Sadly though, a disconnected leader encourages disconnected individuals who then feed disconnected departments that facilitate disconnected divisions that ultimately lead to a disconnected and dysfunctional organization. So, most importantly, start by connecting with Christ. Vertical relational reconnection facilitates horizontal relational reconnection. Sin subtly or not so subtly severs relationships, but confession leads to connection. David, a most effective leader, said it well: “Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the LORD’”— and you forgave the guilt of my sin”(Psalm 32:5). Therefore, make your motives and methods of confrontation for the purpose of reconnection. Friends who care confront to connect.

Taken from the March 16th reading in Boyd’s 365-day devotional book, “Seeking Daily the Heart of God vol. 1” … http://bit.ly/Tv6y9a

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Your Front Door

Have you ever heard of the saying “sweep around your own front door before you try to sweep around mine” or perhaps you’ve heard of “if you dig one ditch you might as well dig two”.

So many people today spend their whole life trying to dig ditches for others to fall in all the while not realizing that they just may fall in themselves. We spend too much time trying to tear other people down or point out their flaws when we have so many of them ourselves. The bridges that we burn can be damaged beyond repair. Why do we do these things? Do we truly feel much better about ourselves? When you look in the mirror at the end of the day do you smile and say “boy, am I a great person?”

Whispering and gossiping behind peoples backs is what the Bible calls “sowing seeds of discord” and God speaks very plainly about how he feels about this sort of thing. They are frowned upon so much that He calls it an abomination to him!

Proverbs 6:16-20 (New Living Translation)

16 There are six things the Lord hates— no, seven things he detests:
17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent,
18 a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong,
19 a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family.

Know that it does your self no good to do such things. Whether you are on the job pointing out all of the short comings of your co-workers to present yourself spotless in the boss’s eyes or behind your spouse’s back you nag and complain to your friends, the truth still remains the same, you can never get ahead by stepping on your sisters and brothers. The same people that you step on to get on top are the same ones that you meet going back down.

Moral of the story is…you never know when you too may need a helping hand. You never know when you may need a little patience and mercy when you’re not meeting the mark. God may use that same person that you have been beating down to show you the same mercy that you should have shown. They may even have what you truly need so it’s very important that you treat others as you would have them to treat you. Strive for peace and keep your slate clean so that you can look in the mirror at the end of the day and smile and know without a doubt that you are truly …a great person. God loves you!